What is it all for?

She buzzes around the house with looping lists of tasks in her head. She self talks all day long. 

Don’t get stressed. Don’t get stressed. Don’t get stressed. 

This vitamin bottle on his nightstand is okay.
This scuff on the wall is fine.
We live here.
This task can wait.

The constant chatter in her mind that she continues to bat down is exhausting. 

I’m not playing with him the right way.
I’m working too much.
I’m not doing a good enough job with his character.
I’m not praying enough. 

She wonders if everyone feels the shame pile up on their shoulders like this. 

She reads time management books and constantly chisels away the edges of her time block calendar system. 

Maybe if I keep making my systems better, the mental exhaustion will go away. 

I whisper to her, “It will not. Joy is not found where you are looking. Peace is not in that chore chart. Or in that project.

“Come to me.” 

_____

To read the entire article: Published on Fathom Mag here.